Cold hands, warm shart.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
