I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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