i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
