i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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