chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
