Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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