im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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