the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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