we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
