I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
