Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
