Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize