I could make wine with my vomit
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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