No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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