...so i touched it.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
