happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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