they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
