You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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