he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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