i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
