You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
