wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Randomize
