The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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