YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
