So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize