I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
there's paper in my vomit.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
