we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
