Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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