Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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