I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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