You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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