i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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