I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize