Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
