it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just want to make out with him forever
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
