If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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