Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
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i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
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Also, beer. Big fan.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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