It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
is wine microwaveable?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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