i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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