Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
