Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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