where does the pee come out of this thing
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
