My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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