Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
