I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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