Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
