I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
ttyl tear gas
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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