New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
