im gay
i know
yea but for you.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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