Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
