You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
