Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
