did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
