Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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