Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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