Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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