We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize