She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
